The Self


Where do we begin? From personal experience, I know that we can often seek the life, the career, the relationships we’ve always wanted without a strong foundation of who and what we truly are. Furthermore, we rely on the conditions (the money, the boyfriend, the job) to change in order for us to move forward. In our culture, this is called reality, but spiritually, this is victim mentality. What I do know is that anything that is ever missing from a situation is that which I am unwilling to give. If I feel like love is being withheld from me, chances are I am withholding love from someone or something. The sooner I get on with recognizing where I have built up the walls to my own happiness, the quicker I can begin to turn my attention to that which brings me joy without the interference of bad habits, trauma contracts, sideways relationships strategies and anything else that pulls me from my center.

Sometimes we can’t even begin to seek the life we actually desire because we are incapable of even seeing our true desires and the greatness that lies in them. Dreams are often shrunk to fit inside our character defects, passions go missing in our disappointments, and this work is required because as someone who survived bouts of depression and suicidal thoughts for almost two decades, I know that faith is irrelevant if I have not even gotten to hope. And I know hope is pointless without an honest appraisal of what is actually occurring in my life: what works? What doesn’t work? Hope is believing that there might be a better way, faith is knowing that there is. If you aren’t at faith right now, don’t have faith that your life or relationships or finances will get better, that is okay, we don’t have to begin there.

Once we’ve cleared a path, we give ourselves the opportunity to see our desires more clearly. The truth is, getting what we want is only effective if we are certain it will make us happy. And true happiness does not have attachments to it. It is free of conditions and situations and variables. Happiness is in moving from your center in any moment; in being present to the center of you that connects you to the beauty, love, and power that is this life.





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