Category is: Earnestness
Despite all my efforts to make sure the experience in this photo meant less, fearing sincerity and the weight of commitment, the actual act of Rev. Jesse honoring me with completion spiritual practitioner program had me shook. The practitioner program was 2-years of practicing compassion, service, knowing the truth for others when they couldn’t see the goodness in themselves, casting visions and having courage to travel outside the perimeter of cultural expectations. After all, what else would you expect from an Interfaith Church founded for and by LGBTQA folk.
For me, it was also a lot of tantrums, “fuck you,” “I’m over this,” “get me the hell outta here,” “screw God,” “damn the world,” “love does not exist.” And jokes. And twerking. Twerking on spiritual retreats. Twerking during my oral exams for the minister panel and even while receiving my certificate in front of the spiritual community. Sorry, not that earnest.
During the ceremony I was thinking how beautiful my friends were. Like, my friends were so damn cute. I was also beginning to understand why I chose not to continue onto the ministerial program…when I started the prac program I thought it was gonna be gay Hogwarts. I thought I was gonna learn how to be a mystic or develop Dumbledorian spiritual powers. Practitioners are practical. People who practice. People who draw their metaphysical knowledge into all life’s experiences. So I move forward with a bit more courage and understanding and humility when it comes to truth and holding a vision of world peace. Just a bit more. But the program taught me as I learn, so I shall teach. To teach is to demonstrate. To demonstrate is to be in the world, alert to suffering and illusions and to hold space for clarity. God, help this LA boy, ambitious, who lives in the world of the material more often than not not fuck it up too much. Remove from me any sense of arrogance, anger or entitlement. Bless me that I might be a blessing and inspire us all that we might be an inspiration to the world.
[Photo by Nicholas Brewer]