There is this term in reality TV called “Hard Ice.” It’s generally used when talent is not supposed to be communicating at all, for fear that storylines and insights will be talked about when cameras and sound are not around. If it wasn’t on camera, it doesn’t exist. Hard Ice is very difficult especially after an emotional moment or argument in which you were not able to say what needed to be said or needed clarification on what someone else said. All you want to do is finish the conversation or get more information…but you can’t.
Sometimes everything needs to be put on ice—sometimes life needs to slow down and we need to pause. This allows for perspective. When we live our lives action by action, conversation by conversation, we are often reacting instead of responding. We have lost the ability, in many of these moments, to make informed choices from a centered over-arching perspective, thus, what you think is actually happening in any given situation probably isn’t. Reacting in situations reveals your knee-jerk belief that life is happening to you and you need to protect yourself. Hard Ice reminds us that we don’t know what anything ultimately is for and we need do nothing right now. How could we know? How could we truly know what is ultimately best for us? We can’t. We have yet to have the full scope of past, present and future.
Don’t make things mean more than they do, but make sure to squeeze meaning out of the things that happen.
Saying what needs to said and only what needs to be said. There were plenty of times where I knew I knew what to say and I still kept my mouth shut. Often times I truly wanted to give my opinion, but I had to ask myself, 1) why would I be speaking? And then I had to pay attention to the belief that 2) people only say what they need to hear. Sometimes all that needs to be heard and felt is stillness, Hard Ice allows for us to get still and to reflect, pause and renew our spirit in the midst of agitation, knowing that when it is time to speak, it can be precise, honest and useful.