What You Focus On You Find
Gratitude works because it allows you to see what is available to you; that your friends are there when you are ill; that you have health when you are alone; that you have strength when you are afraid. I thank God for the spiritual principles and know this: How can things not work out for me when there is so much readily available to and for me? The sun, the air, the conversations and opportunities to go deeper and…I’m still here. And so it is with you. Despite the challenges you’ve been through, somehow you survived and after all that’s happened to you, you’re still here.
Living in a house with a dozen other gay men wanting to attract one guy is a very strong focal point—an obsession, if you will. And for those refusing to be obsessed, they found themselves distracting by other focal points—miniscule issues that became something bigger. It’s a feat to stay focused on the main man. It’s equally as difficult to not let the conversations of others take over your mind, the “Robert definitely prefers X person,” “Y person isn’t going to last long,” “Brandon, you should do XYZ and maybe ABC will happen.” There came a time when advice would no longer serve me because we were all stuck in the maze together.
Focus comes easiest to me when I meditate and set clear intentions with affirmative mind-treatment and journaling. Mind-treatment or prayer for me isn’t begging and beseeching to God. It is a way to train my mind to expect wonders and goodness and to bless all that is available to and give thanks to the people, places and things in my life. If I am convinced that I will find love, I will find love. Now, the universe might deliver love in unexpected ways, but I am not in charge of how the spiritual gifts and principles enter my life (aka, I can’t control the plot, but the theme). I quite literally practiced sending love to everyone and envisioned it easy for myself and Robert to connect. What ended up occurring? I felt love for the guys in the house and I personally began connecting with Robert in a substantial way.
This is a very simple point, but it requires repeating. What I focused on, I find? I do it over and over. Focus and imagine, focus and imagine. I literally would picture myself with Robert in different situations and, just as important, I would not entertain thoughts that contradicted this belief—for instance, like him being with someone else or choosing someone else. I recruited the emotions and feelings I was hoping to have in this experience to help guide the outcome. At night and in the morning I would focus on cultivating happiness and loving thoughts for all, and more often than not I received that. This tactic was extremely faithful, but it certainly began paying off just in time.